growing up and packing up

My little nugget is 10 weeks old. I don't think I'll ever stop saying this...it's been the longest shortest time of my life.  I'm even typing this with one hand, holding him in the other. Welcome to blogging little buddy.

This week I realized just how much he's grown (he's double his birth weight already!) when we had to try on multiple outfits a day...looking for something that would fit,  We're officially out of newborn clothes and into the 3 months.  When did that happen?  I packed up the little onesies with a bittersweet feeling.  He's growing so well. So well.  But I thought about the sweet little outfits he wasn't going to be able to wear anymore.  The one he came home in from the hospital in. The ones that family brought us the week he came home because no one was expecting that he was going to be small enough to fit into newborn clothes and we didn't have enough. The cute one with the mustache face and attached shorts. They're all packed away. Tucked in the closet for a while. Maybe if we're blessed with another little boy, he'll stay warm in these. And we'll remember how cute they all were. And if not, maybe a baby clothing quilt will be in the works... one day.

But for now, they're packed away and waiting. And we're here enjoying each day as it comes, still growing.

XO

Morning Routine

This is part two of "Morning Routine." Read this one first.

I wake up to the little grunts and sounds that my 7 week old is learning to make. Sometimes he's already crying and sometimes he's just struggling to get his hands out of his sleep sack so he can suck on his fingers. I roll over and with my eyes only half open and check the time - earlier than I was hoping - we're not sleeping through the night yet. My back aches as I twist up and out of bed, grab a drink of water, and make my way to the bassinet at the foot of our bed.

 It's early morning and this little one's clock seems to want to stay awake for a while. I bring him back into bed and hold him close as he nurses and stares above my head- at the blinds on the window behind me. As he drifts off to sleep I wonder if it will wake him up if I try to go make a cup of coffee - now only decaf so his sleep isn't interrupted. After I make sure he's really asleep, I try to carefully climb out of bed without disturbing him in my arms, but he's awake. I carry him into the kitchen and put on a pot of hot water for my French press as he fusses and looks around the kitchen in the morning light. While trying to eat a bowl of cereal and juggle a baby at the same time, I think about how one of these days, he'll be on a regular schedule, and I might be able to sit at my computer, in a house I cleaned myself, and be able to check in and stay up to day, and not have to sneak a quick post in during one of only two or three twenty minute naps that happen during the day. Instead, I scarf down my cereal, and make my decaf coffee and carefully carry my coffee cup and my baby boy into the living room where I set the coffee down and play and rock and love my little guy and forget about my coffee until an hour later when it's cold.

 My mind works faster than my day allows for it, ideas float around my head as I bounce around with my little guy in his Moby wrap. I cherish the time I spend with him, I examine the curves of his face and I'm in awe at how much he's grown. I sip my cold coffee in between coos and peek-a-boos, and if he decides to sit in his rocker for a bit, I might get up to warm it up. But if I do, chances are it will get cold again, very quickly. 

These mornings are slow and fast all at once. Sometimes they're quiet and sweet and full of smiles and my heart melting with each one. And sometimes full of cries and soothing and my heart breaking when I can't figure out what's wrong.  They are full of things that didn't get done, dishes in the sink, mail that needs to be sorted, laundry to be folded. But they are short-lived. It blows my mind when I think these mornings of my life are moving so quickly and soon I might have more of a routine, but he'll be crawling and I'll miss him terribly when I'm back at work. I relish in the moments and soak them in, and then I even when he's sleeping and I might get something done, sometimes I just watch him some more because, well, because for right now, I can. 

XO

Becoming that cliche

"Your life will never be the same after kids," "you won't be able to relate to your old friends anymore," "suddenly the most exciting thing in your day will be if your baby pooped and what color it was."  I've heard all sorts of things about what being a new parent would be like. People telling me how I would think and feel, what things would be interesting to me after my baby was born. I remember thinking they don't know me, that's not how it's going to be.  

And then I had my baby boy.

Flash forward... E and I are out for the first "big outing" with family and friends. We've run into an old friend we haven't seen in years. The niceties pass; the questions progress, "how's it going?," "what are you up to?," and "WOW, you have a baby!," and 5 minutes later I feel like I'm grasping at straws to fill in those awkward lulls that keep creeping up into our conversation.  E and I so badly want to say, "Our baby is smiling now when you tickle his neck!" and "he just LOVES staring at the blinds!" because these really are the things that make our day. I'd even slip in a "he hasn't pooped since Wednesday so we're expecting a blow out soon..." but I don't. We don't because we don't want to be THAT cliche couple that only talks about their baby. 

But that's who we are, I guess. That's all that's going on in our lives and it's just so good, that's all we really do want to talk about. We are THOSE people. I'm sorry if that means you'll want to avoid talking to us for a while. I'm sorry if you have trouble trying to relate. But really, I'm sorry that I'm not really sorry about it. I love being a mommy. We love being parents. And these moments are fleeting. I want to catch/remember/share every moment possible because each one is so precious. So I'm sorry (but not really) if you didn't want to know, but he did finally poop three days later, and it was the highlight of our day. 

XO

One Month

 Before you have kids, you have some idea of how quickly time passes. It seems to speed up a little bit every year. When you do have kids, you finally understand what your parents meant when they would say, "time flies," because it really does. In it's own strange way, time passes quickly and still seems to drag on. What's that saying? The minutes last days and the days last minutes.  That person had kids.

Our little boy is one month old. I thank God that he's healthy and home with us now. I've been struggling to figure out what to blog about and struggling to actually find time to sit down at my computer for more than 2 minutes to actually type something.  I realized that the time passes too quickly to plan out the pinterest-perfect blog post. This is our life, our little boy.

At one month:
Arek is smiling when you tickle under his neck and brush a blanket over his face
He's eating like a champ and grew 3 lbs since his last appointment
He loves falling asleep in daddy's arms
His favorite song is the ABC's
His best friends are the blinds on the windows - he'll just stare and stare at them. Mesmerized
He holds up his head so well - we're all impressed with how strong he is.

We're so excited to keep watching him grow and soak up every minute of life with him. Because really, what was life like without him?

XO

Baby Arek

It's almost been month since this little bundle joined our lives. I can't even begin to describe the love that I, that we, have for this little boy. He is just the sweetest ever. It was a bumpy journey in the beginning, but it was our journey. I'm still letting it all process in my head and hope to get his whole birth story written out, and maybe shared on here in the next week or so. It's hard to believe it's been almost a whole month since he came into our lives, and I can hardly imagine what our lives were like without him.

Right now he's nestled in his rocker next to me, dreaming away. And while I can still tell he's the same baby in the picture above, he's grown so much. We're really in for it with all the changes and growing that are to come, but we're so excited for it all.

Baby Arek, Mommy and Daddy (and everyone else) love you to the moon and back!

XO